Its been awhile.....

It has been a while… too much training and not enough blogging!!! These past couple months have been busy and crazy but I suppose that is just life!! There have been a few obstacles causing more rest time than I would’ve liked …. Strep throat went through the family, Damien went to Las Vegas for work, and I’ve been having trouble finding the right balance between maintaining this household and training. These setbacks have been really good for me though. It’s allowed me to take a step back and refocus on what this race is all about.

 

I’ve come to realize that Ironman is not only about physical training, it’s about mental training as well.  These past months I’ve been reading some amazing books which have given me a new perspective. Most notably are the books “One Thousand Gifts” by Ann Voskamp and “The Great Divorce” by C.S. Lewis. I’ve always found peace when God is the focus in my life but it’s so easy to get weighed down and distracted by everyday challenges. Lately I’ve been trying to live in a state of gratitude -finding the good and appreciating the moment no matter what the circumstances. I have a long way to go before I ever master this but it’s been a great learning experience. My mentor is my Dad. I will always remember the last few months when he was with us. I believe these moments show who a person really is. My Dad was always full of hope and optimism – I remember when my Mom told someone that my Dad’s right shoulder was losing strength,  my Dad made sure she also told them that he was gaining strength on his left side. He became very reflective towards the end and I would see him just sitting and taking everything in, always with a slight smile on his face. He was the one putting us at ease with his determination to fight, his determination to get his strength back, his determination to keep going. He never dwelled on the terminal diagnosis; his focus was always on what he needed to do next.

I’m trying to apply this to my own life now. Even in the midst of chaos I’m trying to maintain a place of thankfulness and when I do this it’s amazing how peaceful everything becomes. I think of Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – dwell on these things.” So God, in response to all my obstacles, I want to thank You for the illnesses my family recovers from, I want to thank You for a husband that works hard for us, I want to thank You for a household that I have to maintain, I want to thank You for the ability to swim, to bike and to run. And although I’m not in a place – and I don’t know if I ever will be in a place – to thank You for the loss of my Dad, I can thank You for the gifts You’ve given because of it. And Dad… I want to thank you. For in your fight to hold onto life you’ve taught me how to truly live mine.

I want to also mention some very special grateful moments from this weekend. My sweet nephews James and Andrew sold some lemonade to raise money for the Brain Tumour Foundation for my race in Mont Tremblant!!! They were so excited to set up their stand and they gave me their proceeds with pride!! I am also very thankful that the bench we had dedicated to my Dad is ready and at it’s home in the Arboretum in Guelph -just in time for the one year anniversary of his passing. We are having a celebration of my Dad next weekend and are looking forward to bringing everyone to the bench for photos! 

A shout out....

....to my husband. Since the passing of my Dad my Mom has told me on numerous occasions not to take my husband for granted. I know for a fact that my Mom never took my Dad for granted but I think she's been reflecting on those times in a marriage when you disagree about something that really isn't that important. This past month I've been paying close attention to how much I rely on Damien in my life and how much of a team we are. It's the little things... watching me while on my bike then making adjustments so my position is better, noticing when my patience is starting to run out and taking control of the kids, or listening to me complain about something then quietly fixing it! Things that I probably have taken for granted!
     This past year has been hard for Damien too. He really loved my Dad but his grief has had to be put aside while he's played the supporting role for me. I remember the last week we had my Dad home I relied on Damien to be there for the kids while I spent any moment I could with my Dad. On one occasion Damien had left work early to quickly spend time with my Dad before I needed him home for the kids. I'm so happy that he took that opportunity because that was the last time he really spoke to him. That's when my Dad famously said to him "Damien - there is only one thing wrong with me. When they can fix this one thing I'll be fine". Again - I miss his eternal optimism.
     My Dad never missed an opportunity to tell our family how much he loved us. But during that last week he said things to all of us with a different intensity. Like he was trying to burn these words in our hearts to have forever. Like when he looked at me and Sherra and told us how much he loved his son-in-laws and how proud he was of our families. I think in life even as we get older we always strive for our parents approval. I'm so thankful to have had the time with my Dad for moments like that.

     So it seems fitting that Damien and I should be doing this huge challenge together like we face most things in life - together!! So thank you love!!!

Damien and Dad!

Dad with Pat and Damien

Looking back..

I was thinking the other day about the last time I actually did an endurance race and I realized it was the Canberra half Ironman in 2005. My parents had come to Australia to watch the race which was being held on my birthday - December 11th! I remember that day very well - my Dad had bought an Aussie hat on the trip and I can still see him wearing his hat on the sidelines cheering me on. We spent the weekend in Canberra and we had so much fun!!
There are a few things that really stick out to me about that race that I thought I'd share...

1. The swim was horrible - I remember the slight feeling of panic I had in the open water particularly when the mens 30-35 age group who started after me continued to swim over me!! I can still see the kayak with the lifeguard in it paddling pretty close by sensing impending doom!! I don't think it helped that the Canberra lake was murky and full of weeds - there is a joke that it's full of dead politicians.

2. The incredible sense of joy I felt getting out of the water!!!

3. Completing the race and running to my parents!

4. Deciding that I was never going to do a full Ironman.

And here I am doing the full Ironman! It's amazing how things can change when you have a new motivation.

After thinking about the last time that I did an endurance race I couldn't help but get a little nervous. It has been a long time and since then I've had 3 kids and not a lot of time for exercise!!! The only race I've done in the past 6 years has been a 5km run in the Thanksgiving day races this past October. But there isn't anything I can do about that so I'll hand that worry over to God. All I can do is train as much as I can so that on that start line I'll have the confidence that I can do it! So that is what I'm focusing on right now!

And the training is going well!! I was at the pool the other morning feeling like my swimming was changing from borderline drowning to actually enjoying it!! I got out of the water and on the whiteboard someone had written "If you have to doubt anything then doubt your own limitations". What a perfect time to see that!! I like to call these Dad messages :-)

I have also acquired a couple of training partners who like to keep me motivated!! I think I'm going to have a lot of fun with this race!!!

My partner Ryan

My partner Tyler

My partners Ty and Damien

**** I was just talking to my Mom and we were having a laugh at a photo that she and my Dad put together as a joke!! While they were away they sent a few e-mails updating friends and family on their trip. In one e-mail they had said that while they were in Australia they decided to do a triathlon and they sent this photo:

I think they may have got a few responses congratulating them!! This reminds me of my Dad's sense of humour that I miss so much!! I had to add this to the post!!

The Why of it all!!!

There are a few reasons as to why I want to start this blog. The first is to share this experience with friends and family so they can be updated on how the training is going! Another reason is to keep this as a record for myself as a tribute to my Dad. Something I can look back on and remember all these training sessions when I feel him by my side. And the final reason is to keep this as a memoir for my kids. As a way of ridding myself from the guilt I feel as I put them in front of the TV again so that I can hop on the bike trainer. I want their lasting memory of this time to be less about the TV and more about the fact that when you are passionate about something, you set a goal and work towards it. I want them to see that on those days when it would be so much easier to stay in bed or curl up on the couch, you choose to keep going because the purpose is too important to you.

I'm anticipating a few challenges - it would be boring without the challenges! Being a stay at home Mom to 3 young boys is busy enough and this training has become my part-time job! I can already see that my big challenge will be having an abundance of patience and energy! A tired and sore Mom still has to be a loving Mom! Another challenge is fitting in my training and Damien's training. I love that we are both doing this race but that in itself is posing as an obstacle! We are already playing tag team as one gets in the door the other one leaves! We still want to carve out that precious family time that we enjoy so much.

All these challenges are balanced out by all of my advantages though!! I have an amazing family who are just as excited as I am about this race and are more than willing to help. My Mom has already come over on quite a few occasions to watch the boys! Closer to the race I think she will become the permanent Saturday parent!! My sister, Sherra, and her wonderful family, husband Pat and boys James and Andrew, are also excited about the race! She is willing to help out where ever needed!! And my brother Matt and his fiance Nequita offer lots of encouragement!! My other advantage is actually a bit selfish. When I train it is time for myself. Time for me to think about my Dad and remember all the times in my life that I shared with my Dad. I feel closer to him then I do any other time and that gets me excited about training! My final big advantage is my faith! It has always played an important role in my life but has grown stronger than ever during this time. Faith was important to my Dad and was one of the gifts he passed on to our family. So with my Dad on my one side and God on the other I feel very equipped to achieve this goal!

I look forward to sharing this journey!!